So many lessons, the trick is to choose the right one

When you start along a path of self development it is common to come across the belief that there is a lesson for us in every situation.  This is designed to help us make the most of anything that we go through, helping us to grow and flourish.  The problem is, the concept is incomplete.

Quite often when we are faced with a difficult situation there is more than one lesson we can learn and this is where choice comes in.   None of the options are wrong however some of them will take us on a detour away from our personal growth and lead us to manifest other situations where we are shown the same choices.

Here is an example:  You have been seeing a guy (or gal) for a while now and you find they have cheated on you.  Here you are faced with a number of choices:

  1. Stay with him and try and ignore it
  2. Stay with him and try and change him
  3. Stay with him and accept that he is likely to do it again and that you are ok with it.
  4. Break up with him.

None of these choices are wrong but many of them will lead you away from personal growth.

So how do we work out which is the right lesson?  When faced with a difficult situation a good rule of thumb is “where does the love flow and where is my power?”

This can be hard to see at times because we have been taught to put others first. With the first set of choices initially it would appear that option 1 is where the love flows, but this denies love for yourself and that is what must come first.  Here the love is in option 4, in walking away you are showing that you love yourself enough to choose to not be treated that way.  You are taking your power back and standing up for your happiness in the long term.

If you choose options 1 and 2 you will be faced with other lessons along the way and each time there will be a chance for you to follow the love, so all is not lost.

If you decide to walk away you are again faced with a number of choices on how you move forward in your life

  1. Believe all men are rats and never trust them again
  2. Believe that you make bad choices so decide to stay away from men
  3. Understand that maybe this time you got it wrong and chalk it up to experience
  4. Try to understand why you chose a man who cheated on you so you can work out how to make better choices next time.

Again, all of these choices are reasonable but there is no love in the first two.  It is often so much easier to take the closed hearted route, to turn anger, hate and blame outwards or to yourself rather than looking within to find the changes that you can make to yourself to allow you to open your heart again.

Here option 3 could be a good place to start if it is the first time this has happened. However if you repeatedly pick cheaters then option 4 is where the love is.  In both options you are allowing the love to flow.  You are not closing your heart to the possibility of finding healthy love but you are working to ensure that you do not give your power away again.

The questions “where is the love and where is my power?” can be applied to any situation in life but they must be used together.  We cannot ensure we are empowered without balancing it with love or we risk becoming egotistical or fearful.

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