Not everyone is a mirror for your shadow

While I’m venting about “New Cage” philosophies I wanted to share another one that I think needs considering deeply. This is the one that says if you find someone you don’t like they are mirroring something in you that you need to work on.

The simplistic way that I have seen this taken is that bad people mirror the bad in you. Now, some will say that this IS too simplistic but I always see these things in the light of someone with low self esteem and a fine shame trigger. Any hint that I am a bad person and I am off down the shame spiral if I don’t catch myself. I’m sure I’m not alone in this.

I prefer to look at this theory in a different way. You know it might be that it is mirroring something we need to work on. In Debbie Ford’s book “Dark Side of the Light Chasers” she talks about this and I realise that I struggle with people I swiftly (and often wrongly) perceive as “idiots” because I deeply fear being seen as an idiot. But could that be said for my issue with people who harm animals? I mean yeah, I would deeply fear being judged as this kind of person, but that isn’t the reason I feel such rage for them. Nope, it’s because they are bad people.

In the rush to bring New Cage to the masses philosophies have been over simplified. People believe that to be “in service” (another NC trope I struggle with) they feel it is their right to teach their beliefs, hell, I’m doing it now, but if there is no basis for understanding how something can be taken wrongly, how it can harm, then it becomes a metaphorical baseball bat.

Debbie Ford goes on to say that we are capable of being the worst kind of person, given the right circumstances, and it is healthy to learn to accept that, and I do agree. But it’s important to see the fact that, in almost all cases, we are not bad people.

When someone triggers something in you it is worth having a look under the hood to see if there is something you should be working on, but remember, it could just be that they are the bad person and you rightfully object to it.

Keep walking the path with discernment and compassion for yourself and others, but take no shit! ❤

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